I assume that random events brought me to these unfortunate circumstances, and I am not sure I will ever be able to find out all the reasons for all situations. I could instead perhaps consider to fix it. And if not, I can move on; that’s maybe ignorant, but so am I.

It is brittle and breaks. I am not sure if I could return it to its former state. But do I need to? Can I want to? Will I find myself?

Heaven knows I’m miserable now…

Not long ago, I was convinced of my capacity: Everything seemed possible, but now I have already stumbled when trying to accomplish the most trivial tasks.

Indeed, this is not fun, but it is real. I need not add anything. And I am no longer curious at all; too much energy is required to take care of it.

So, I need to protect my good intentions; what else do I have? What else should I invest my time in?

But shoot it in the right direction!

It is obvious how lazy and immature I appear. That’s an issue, indeed.

As soon as the situation improves, I will surely reduce my attention, forget my intention, and omit my protection. That’s too sad, but I knew it would be coming anyway.

Where should the motivation come from? I don’t care much about myself anymore, so what about the others?

I am uncertain my “help” will be accepted, but it is still better than wasting my time waiting for my forthcoming disease.

Haven’t I been sick all along anyway?

Make me wanna holler—the way they do my life.

There is no place to hide. I mean, wherever I go, my problems follow. But so do the solutions and chances for change. They are always with me.

What am I waiting for? And what awaits me? There are thousands of steps, and as I will often fail, I’d better start now. I’d better start here.

I cannot plan this, and I should forget about my expectations. It’s best to remind myself to step into this unavoidable. That’s more than I ever could have wanted.

This is a beautiful place, a complete place. This is a life I cannot ignore, a life that does not ignore me either. We meet here.

If I can use every moment and every place to enter, it is likely that everyone can do the same: find their moment, find their place, find their arrival.

You are always welcome.