There were moments of acceptance and moments of rejection. But there were also moments of neither, and these were the most irritating: Am I happy or not? Am I serene or not? Am I clear or not? Should I care or not?

It’s fun to lose and to pretend.

My presence is undoubtful but doesn’t feel worth mentioning. So is the presence of… basically everything. But I honestly do not need what has already appeared before me and will remain after me.

When I sit down, I do not imagine getting up instantly. Still, I sit and wait and watch. And sit and wait and watch.

…and the answers are all up to me!

Perhaps this made me think I was more stable. This will pass soon anyway, but it can also reappear quite quickly. I just don’t need to force myself.

Even my deepest fears and hopes are nothing special. Everyone has experienced something similar, I am very sure. If I knew how I could leave that irritation behind, everyone else could also know. So, I need to find out and let everyone know.

You are always welcome.