The visitors left, and I am here on my own another time. Somehow, a faint imprint of their presence remains. Do I want to keep it? I likely will not see it the moment I forget it. Do I want to dismiss it? I likely will annoy myself much longer.

I could fear the next meeting or regret the last. I could hope for an excellent engagement and cherish the memory of that which is long gone. I could try to avoid the next moment and tell myself that the prior experience is still where I am.

But who am I kidding again?

Stitched up tight—can’t shake free.

The pieces don’t fit anymore, so that means I am somewhat lost. But after all, I know that I am lost, and that is already better.

So… was I ever not lost? Now that I think about it, I might have told myself I was in charge; I had everything under control. But was that actually the case?

I was not always taking care of myself and others, so I might have mistaken my ideas for what I encountered. And that made time pass without me really attending to what I experienced.

Maybe I should know better.

When I step up in the place, ayo, I step correct!

This is the place where I can meet everything just as it is, and what if it is exactly as I wanted it? I change my preferences so often—why should I even bother to compare them to my expectations?

There is so much there, and it stands alone. I nod, move my head around, and nod again: Yes, that’s exactly what I wanted if I wanted it moments ago. But I didn’t, so it’s just always okay—I guess it is more than okay.

That should be my standard, even if it is impossible.

Nothing more to say, no more ace to play.

How could anyone lose or win if I didn’t enter a competition? And even if I entered, what would happen if I left early?

Everyone knows moments when something else is more important than persuasion. And I think everyone skipped a battle when they were exhausted or distracted. Perhaps that is also fine.

So, I do not need to feel like a winner, and they don’t need to feel like losers, as we have been equally defeated already. That reminds me how everyone could care for me, which means I want to care for them.

You are always welcome.